Stress: something i have become much more accustomed to as of late, but something i have not lost ability to grab hold of and shake off.

after a few shakes.

I do believe that before this wedding planning began (quite a while ago, we were planning what we wanted before we were engaged) i did not quite understand what stress was. I think i expected it to feel someway, when in fact the feeling was something entirely different. It begins- and you can hardly notice it, it begins to alter your decisions, your mood, your patience, and at the finale you cannot even walk about your house without an explosion or your head popping off like a toy rocket. They are best handled with tea and a nap.

I am absolutely sure more women have had a hellish time having to plan their wedding, "dealing" with family members, florists, decorators, venue administrators, djs, grandparents trying to do the best, losing the ring, tearing the dress, fighting with the fiance, i could make up too many presumable situations... But ours really is not that stressful. I am thankful for how well ours is turning out.

Yes- at this point- i can say it will not be as i had "always dreamed." But i can admit that, while it is more expensive, time swallowing, stressful, and large, it is as it should be. I hoped for a very small (smaller than the somewhat 90 that will show as it is) backyard wedding, with a homemade dress, handpicked sunflowers, and more simple than you might be able to imagine. I am content with less, and some just cannot seem to realize that. That is how i wish it could be.

We still have the touch of our personalities; mainly his:) Ani and i had the idea for the post card save-the-dates. We found a website online that we uploaded our photo into, and paid about $24 for 100 of them. He found an image that he re-designed with our information for the invitation and sketched it out. Painting it with watercolors, then handing the project off to me, dad scanned them, i photoshopped them, had them printed at kinkos (now fedex office, but i cannot move off from the original name...) cut them out with sylvia while mom folded them all, they all came together. I have designed the wedding favors, something mom and i (with a group of ladies she has rounded up!) will put together in the next few weeks, i had ideas for the simple shower invitations, something Sylvia grabbed a hold of and turned them into something lovely, and we are still decorating... So it really is not that bad. Just- not as i first imagined. new ideas bloom, and life goes on.

and that is aok:)

I have a beautiful dress, and he has a ring from outer-space (a piece of the Gibeon meteorite that descended into Namibia, Africa. Discovered in 1838) that has been plated in 24k gold. It is heavy, and quite a thing to watch him wear it for pretend. He delights in the fact that his wedding ring is from "outer-space, kylie!!! outer-space!! :)"

he is adorable.

I have designed my corsages, as he is designing his boutonnieres. Mine are made of lace, and his designs are with feathers... if you question that, google-search "feather boutonnieres" and you will be amazed. He is an artist of immeasurable capabilities.

To the plan B: in need for a backup plan we have landed on a lovely spot, a place i have grown up in and know well and equally love as i do the backyard of the cottage: an old state park located right in our neighborhood. We as a family have had so many adventures, late-night hikes listening for the owls, day-time hikes, camping, swimming, blackberry picking, wildflower gathering, nature-walking, butterfly migrating, trips. Most of my homeschool education can easily be credited to that park. I joke and say i know the park more than the old people do that work there. I believe it's true.

Anyway, we have chosen to have it there at the conference center (and i am still equally excited- we have more space to run and play, and transition between ceremony, reception, and dancing) and in each of your invitations will be a card to refer you to right here! Our new website! Included as will is a map of the new location. The park sadly will not wave the $10 entrance fee... However, carpooling is highly encouraged... and we might be able to sneak people in with already-paid cars :D

I have just decided on my shoes, and have ordered them. My first idea was to find shoes similar to the cinderella slippers in the old drew barrymore movie "Ever After"... I love those shoes.... And i cannot believe i am admitting that. But i have. There is this website i found that makes those shoes... but being kylie, never owning a pair of heels, never wearing makeup, and never doing her hair, i was a bit intimidated by the idea of ordering heels over the internet and wearing them with a dress. I also want to be comfortable. And i also do not want to spend $40 on a pair of shoes i will only wear once? I never spend $40 on a pair of shoes...On a pair of anything, for that matter...

So i went with this pair: (only imagine them ivory). They are flat, nice, and still wearable for other fancy occasions... I am pleased with what i found, I only hope they fit well:) If not, lord knows i will be returning them...

After a bit of delay, the invitations are finally being sent out tomorrow!

I had them basically ready on thursday, but had five more to put together, the plan B cards to cut out, and stickers to attach... So ani and i cut out the cards, and while his mom was in town, she and my mom attached all the lovely sunflower stickers saturday evening, and finished right at five o'clock. Quite sad, considering the next day was sunday, and THEN presidents day... :) ahwell. I think all will be quite okay...

Here is the day mom and i went to Sylvia's to finish up the shower invitations:

maybe soon i will decide what i want with the corsages? and i will post them. until then, hold tight! we are 34 days away.

love,

- ky